Try Positive Self Talk.
“Your thinking brain can be your worst tormentor!”… Eckhart Tolle
How we think about ourselves influences how we treat ourselves and talk to ourselves.
It is important to think about coping statements before you begin to experience an uncomfortable or intense emotional experience, such as anxiety. Here are some examples of statements that you can use to settle yourself in the midst of emotions such as, anxiety, fear, panic, stress, and/or sadness
- I can control myself
- I can tolerate my feelings
- That was only a thought or memory - it doesn't mean it will happen
- I am safe
- I survived
- It can't harm me
- I know what to do
- I can handle it OR I am handling it
- I deserve to be happy
- That thought is irrational
- That is my thinking brain trying to trick me or lying to me
- I am doing my best and taking it one day at a time
Now try thinking of some of your own coping statements!
Why do we always “What if” ourselves with negative thoughts and not positive ones?
What don't we say to ourselves:
- What if I am really successful?
- What if I have no anxiety?
- What if I do everything well?
Every time you “What if” a negative – give as much power to the “What if” positive!
Negative self talk is what causes us to feel tired and lack inspiration and can lead to depression (Bassett, 1995).
If you have a hard time being positive of kind to yourself – or are having a difficult time coming up with a replacement thought for the negative one – ask yourself what your best friend would say to you?
Here are some examples of positive thoughts that can replace typical negative thoughts:
Negative self–talk
- I've never done it before.
- It's too complicated.
- I don't have the resources.
- There's not enough time.
- There's no way it will work.
- I don't have the expertise.
- It's good enough.
- It's too radical a change.
- No one bothers to communicate with me.
- I'm not going to get any better at this.
- I'm never going to learn how to manage my stress.
Positive alternative
- It's an opportunity to learn something new.
- Let's look at it from a different angle.
- Necessity is the mother of invention.
- Let's re–evaluate some priorities.
- I can try to make it work.
- I'll find people who can help me.
- There's always room for improvement.
- Let's take a chance.
- I'll see if I can open the channels of communication.
- I'll give it one more try.
- I'm going to try to learn how to manage my stress.