Ending Anticipatory Worry
Anticipatory Worry is where most anxiety starts to take shape and gain speed. Anticipatory worry is when you begin to think about the thing(s) that you fear before they happen. The time reference is future oriented whether we are worrying about what might happen in the next few minutes to the next few days or the next few years.
Anticipatory worry puts us in a no-win situation. It can feel like you are afraid to live but also afraid to die.
Anticipatory worry makes the actual feared event bigger than it really is.
By worrying about the future you are giving away our own power – don't do that!
Anticipatory worry ruins the moment that we are in right now!
Anticipatory worry often has you anxious about things that may never happen.
"Suffering is the painful anticipation of fear inducing events…that have already happened" - Alice Miller
For Example: When driving after an accident many people struggle with painful anticipatory fear that someone else will hit them and they will be in another accident (this is also known as fortune-telling thinking- see distorted thinking)… but this event already occurred and the accident is over.
Stay in the present, invite the fearful thoughts, use your mindfulness,relaxation, grounding, deep breathing skills, thought stopping, and positive self-talk to stay in the present moment- and chances are the present moment is totally safe.
Stay in the Present
A renowned author on anxiety once wrote,
"Your fears are all about losing control. If you want to stay in control, stay in the present, instead of projecting into the future" Bassett, 1995
Invite the Fearful Thoughts
The fearful thought gets more power when we pull against it like in a tug of war. It is the cognitive struggle that creates the most tension. Saying “I don't want this”, “I don't like that thought” causes the anxiety.
You have a million thoughts each day that come into your head and pass sometimes without you even remembering them or being conscious of them.
When you invite your thoughts of anxiety willingly – you put yourself in the position of control. Invite the thought, watch it, record it, then let it pass. Don't resist it – watch it and then dismiss it.
This technique can make you a decision maker about what you will and will not be concerned about instead of a victim of fearful thinking.
Why let your fearful thoughts control you anyway? Should anxiety run your life? I don't think so!
Anxiety keeps us prisoner only when we give it authority!